BEGINNING MEMORIES

in high school, my school was not my first choice.

nor was it my second. i dreamt of hitting it big. it was not selfishness and vanity that made me long for manila schools. rather, it was pure idealism. in a quarter storm that offered sacrifices of pure nationalism and patriotism, i wanted the best that education can offer me to serve the best for my beleagered country.

i thought my school would never offer me that.

but dreams are not always clothed in silver and gold. oftentimes, the path is a constant cycle of emptying and filling, of dying and rising, of accepting and letting go. there's a part of me that always wants to be filled, to feel good, to have life go well and to have any pain and discomfort. yet, i know that how noble my dreams are, a cup that is always full does not have room to receive, as joyce krupp once said. it would never have a space to contain anything more than what it already has.

emptying asks that we have a willingness to try and go. to trust.

if you trust absolutely, you will always be receptive enough to the signals that life and god and yourself - your deep self - will be giving you. you will always be given the clue, the information, and the inspiration to carry you through (a. harvey).

i have never lost my faith in all those years.

true, it has carried me through.